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In The Wake Of Errors, Media Examines Itself And Decides To Keep Lying [Satire]

The following is satirical.
Everyone makes mistakes, but the important thing is that we take responsibility for our errors, learn from them, make changes and move on. Or we can work for the news media, then screw it.
In the last few years, the American news media has been unmasked as a nearly criminally corrupt enterprise, deserting their duty to inform voters and instead adopting a policy of deceit in the name of protecting left-wing Democrats. 
On the other hand, whenever their corruption has been exposed, they have turned inward and examined themselves and changed their ways and then I woke up and it was all just a beautiful dream and they were still lowlifes.
For example, the recent Department of Justice Inspector General Report revealed several instances in which the news media made the innocent, unintentional error of getting caught being lying dirtbags. For instance, there was their coverage of the Devin Nunes memo in which Nunes pointed out that the FBI had gotten FISA warrants on false pretenses. The media universally denounced the memo and the Washington Post called it, “a joke and a sham.”
However, now that the IG has found that every word in the Nunes memo was true, the Post has promised to issue a correction, though it will be a magic, invisible correction only visible on the first February after hell freezes over.
Likewise, Adam Schiff, who lied about Donald Trump’s collusion with Russia, then lied about his own collusion with the Ukraine call leaker also, it turns out, lied about the Steele Dossier — and yet the media continues to believe him. 
As New York Times Editor-in-Chief Blithering Prevarication the Third remarked, “We journalists must take an honest look at ourselves, especially at that mole on the inside of my thigh, which looked like a rubber duckie yesterday but today looks more like a polar bear.”
Mr. Third says he plans to continue this sort of soul searching because he feels his soul is bound to turn up sooner or later.

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